Escorts in London NEWS

BREAKING NEWS!
LOCAL SAVAGE HAS BEEN POSITIVELY IDENTIFIED AS SLOVAK GYPSY IMMIGRANT SLAVKO "BRUNO" MURESH

Deranged East European immigrant Muresh has been lying about working for Premier League footballer for several weeks claiming to be his driver to all friends and close relatives

It was recently confirmed that Muresh was in fact not Van der Vaarts driver and has, in fact, no contact, affiliation, professional dealings or association whatsoever with the much-loved Tottenham Hotspur attacker

Local residents of the Angel area of North London be warned, Muresh is both dangerous and unpredictable in his uniquely annoying and false story telling

The best way to approach, handle him and remain untraumatised by Muresh's signature brand of bullshit is to simply nod, pretend you believe him and indirectly mock him

It is vital that you do not,  in any circumstances, attempt to question or belittle his clearly fabricated web of lies. This can lead to a very confrontational, defensive and angry immigrant who can become even more annoying at any second.

The web of lies he creates in fact entangle him and he will trip over at the slightest suggestion of needing an explanation. The stories he tells are about as structurally integral as a house of cards made of glass sitting on top of a rubber ball.

BE WARNED! BE SMART! BE SAFE!

Please note that no Slovak gypsies and/or immigrant, present in this country legally or otherwise, leeching benefits or otherwise, were hurt during the making of this satirical article

Please also note that this article is strictly humorous and may or may not be based on a true story. However it is my duty to tell you that it is.